The Best Man and the Wedding Day
The Best Man could be the Grooms brother or friend, it would be best to pick someone organised, reliable, supportive and trustworthy. He will have the responsibility to keep things smooth sailing when nerves hit, not just to tie you up to that lamp post during the stag night! The ideal person should be confident around others and can take control. There are many responsibilities to the Best Mans role. His most enjoyable would probably be the stag night The least enjoyable might be acting as an intermediary between the families!
- He will be required to assist the Groom with his responsibilities in planning the wedding.
- He should go with the Groom and ushers to the outfit fittings.
- He is responsible to ensure that flowers and button holes are delivered on time.
- He will need to book accommodation for himself and the Groom for the night before the wedding and be trustworthy enough NOT to get the Groom drunk the night before!
On behalf of the Groom, the Best Man pays the church fees before the ceremony starts. It might be worth mentioning that the Best Man’s life won’t be worth living if he doesn’t ensure that the Groom arrives to the church on time, and worse still if he forgets the rings. He could be asked to witness the wedding and sign the marriage certificate. After the wedding ceremony he should escort the chief bridesmaid/matron of honour from the ceremony venue to the wedding reception, ensuring that all guests have transport to get there too. At the reception the Best Man will be required to initiate the toasts and read any telegrams, emails and cards.
So you have been asked to be best man, you have gone through the usual stages as it sinks in. Firstly your Soon To Be Married friend/brother/cousin has finally acknowledged you are indeed the "Best Man", a fact you have believed all along, what’s more you’re finally going to get a free meal out of him.
Then the touching sentiment has dawned, that of all the people he knows he has chosen you to be by his side on the most important day of his life.
And finally you realise the massive task you now face, organising the stag do (can anyone actually co-ordinate his rabble of friends and family for a decent knees up?), taking care of the main man and seeing him through his big day and then there is the sphincter tightening realisation that you are going to have to write and deliver the killer Best Man’s speech.
But where do you begin? It is possibly one of the most daunting roles a man will face.
Most modern couples plan their weddings with near military precision (although this is mostly down to the sensible bride rather than the hapless groom) however you might be called upon to help out. Make sure you communicate regularly with the happy couple in the build up to their big day offering your services where required. They have picked you for this huge honour for a reason so make sure you help out wherever you can.
Communication is king. Stay in regular contact with the happy couple, find out what roles they would like you to fulfil on the day and how they would like your help during the planning. The groom will probably have a few ideas of his own when it comes to the stag do, make sure you respect his wishes at all times (well… most of them). A day crawling from one bar to another en route to a lapdancing club might be your idea of fun but is it his? And will this land him in any trouble with the soon to be Mrs?
Also you might find the groom is starting to break under the strain of having to choose the best one out of 200 dresses that all look the same to him and other assorted tasks he didn’t see coming. The beautiful girl he fell in love with has suddenly turned into Bridezilla, and at times it will feel to him that no matter what he says or does, any word of him will bring forth accusations of not caring or pulling his weight and a few lonely nights on the sofa. Offering to get him out on “wedding fact finding missions” to the local pub might be an invaluable help.
The greatest advice we can offer to any Best Man is to get organised early. When facing such a massive task many guys revert to type and work under the delusion that “if I just don’t worry about it it’ll sort itself out and it’ll all be ok in the end” or are filled with such dread of everything that faces them that they simply bury their head in the sand and keep putting everything off until “tomorrow”. Bad idea. The more you put things off until the last minute the more of a panic you’ll find those last few weeks before the wedding. And come the big day the bride and groom will be panicking enough already without finding out that the man they thought they could rely upon above all others has spent the last few weeks trying to beat his highest score on “Call of Duty” rather than taking care of the tasks he had promised faithfully to accomplish.
Now it is fair to say that most women are far more organised than us blokes. One thing that certainly sets us apart is the matter of writing lists. Most guys at some time or other have noted how a female they know has an inbuilt propensity for writing lists for pretty much everything that happens or needs to happen in her life. While we guys find this notion completely alien. Lists are for girls right? Or are they? In fact men are actually the king of lists, it is indeed where we thrive. Not convinced? Name your top 5 films of all time? Greatest England starting XI? Top 10 albums of the 20th century? Lists are the corner stone of the most hotly debated bloke banter in pubs and offices the length and breadth of the country. So start with a list of tasks the future Mr and Mrs wedded bliss have asked you to take care of before the wedding. A list of the names and numbers/email address of the stag attendees, a list of everything you’ll need to attend to on the big day.
It’s really not as scary as you think. Communicate. Get organised. Write those lists. Soon you’ll find you’re halfway there and that on the day you will indeed be the BEST MAN.
As for those lists… we thought we’d share of few of our own. Although obviously we don’t like to think of them as “lists”. These are just a sample of our “Top 10’s”. We don’t write lists…. Lists are for girls!
Suggested Stag Do Daytime Activities
1. Clay Pigeon Shooting
3. Go Karts
4. Quad Biking
5. Racing School
6. White Water Rafting
7. 4x4 Off Road Driving
8. Mud Buggies
9. Tank Driving
10. Infantry Experience
Suggested Stag Do Anthems
1. White Wedding - Billy Idol
2. It’s Over - Roy Orbison
3. Love Is The End - Keane
4. See You On The Other Side - Ozzy Osbourne
5. Modern Love - David Bowie
6. It’s The End Of The World As We Know It - REM
Suggested Stag Do Weekends
1. Golfing Weekend
For the competitive streak in you why not get a bit of Tiger Woods style action (minus the prostitutes, press exposure and loss of endorsements).
2. Road Trip
Hire some classic wheels or VW camper vans and take the groom on a road trip back down memory lane to all those happy places he’s never going to be allowed to see again.
3. Canal Barge
3 men in a boat? Why not hire a couple of canal barges and find every fine hostelry along the way.
4. European Trip
The world’s your lobster. See the big picture and go find yourselves a new playground to have fun in.
5. Carry On Camping
Tents, tinnies and tantrums. Can any stag do survive the riggers of a camping trip and live to tell the tale?
6. Activities Weekend
Quad biking, go cart racing, clay pigeon shooting, hovercraft racing. Why not visit one of many activities centres and do the whole lot?
7. House Guests
“They stayed in a house a very big house in the country...” Why not pack up all you need and find your own solitude away from the regular stag crowds and hire a holiday home for a weekend. We recommend BBQs and take-aways rather than suffer each others cooking.
Try any of the above just don’t tell the groom. Simply tell him what to pack, turn up on the day and bundle him in the back of a waiting car. Be sure to make it authentic and leave the bride a ransom note telling her where to pick him up and what the price of his safe return will be.