ETIQUETTE AND TRADITION

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Etiquette and tradition at the wedding reception

The wedding reception is intended to celebrate both the marriage and the joining of the groom and bride's family. The wedding reception starts after the formal photographs have been taken and begins with the reception line-up, where the wedding party 'meets and greets' guests individually.

The ushers are responsible to introduce each guest by name to the mother of the bride. It might be prudent to have an usher from each family. Wedding guests make their way to their tables followed later by the Bride and Groom.  After the rmeal the speeches and the cuting of the cake there is usually an evening party, where a wider circle of friends and relatives are invited. It is one of the best man's duties to ensure the security of the gifts given at the reception.

Etiquette and tradition when considering table plans

The main wedding party are usually seated at the top table. The Bride sits beside the Groom, the other placings are as flexible as you prefer.

Sometimes tradition has to be sacrificed in our modern weddings due to family dynamics. There are some difficulties with divorced parents especially if they don't want to sit at the same table as each other. If this is the case, move them to seperate tables near the top table but among other guests. Their places on the top table could then be taken by someone else of the Bride and Grooms choice. If one set of parents are still married, do not get them to give up their right at the top table to ensure symmetry or make the other parents feel better. There is no reason for anyone else to bear the consequences.

When planning your seating plans then maybe this Top Table Planner will help elivate the stress.  It can help with either traditional table plans or if you are breaking from tradition

There is etiquette and traditions to consider when giving a wedding toast

Traditionally these are firstly given by the Father of the Bride who talks about his daughter with a mixture of humour and affection.

The groom then replies on behalf of himself and his wife, some brides even opt to say their own speech! A toast is made to the maids and the Groom continues by thanking all those involved in coordinating the day and distributes gifts. The Groom says a few words about his stunning wife.

If the bride makes a speech it should be after the Groom's.  

The Best Man's speech takes place last. He reads out telegrams, cards, e-mails or other messages on behalf of anyone who couldn't make the wedding. Beware.....he then talks about the Groom !

 

 

A traditional Maid of Honour 

This should be the person the bride can trust and confide in and share the excitement of the brides big day. She should not over shadow the bride. When choosing her, your relationship is important, not age or marital status.  Traditionally the Maid of Honour's main duty is to be there for the bride, not just on the wedding day but also to help her through the many stages of the planning leading up to it. The bride has the say on what the maid wears and her dress is traditionally paid for by the groom although these days the cost is shared between the bride and groom

 

 

Wedding Gift Traditions and Etiquette to follow when received

~ From the couple to their mothers; bestman; bridemaids and ushers.
 
~ Traditionally guests are given something to remember the day i.e favours.Today this has evolved to giving each guest five sugar coated almonds to symbolise health, wealth, fertility, happiness and long-life.

~ Those given to the couple by their guests, this has replaced the tradition of bringing fruits that used to encourage fertility for the married couple.

These days few couples start married life from scratch and from the parental home.  Many newlyweds have already lived together and most likely have all the cutlery and toasters that they will need.  This is where a wedding list comes into its own. 

For smaller weddings the mother of the bride is given the responsibility of organising the gift list.  Where a large list has been written it might be easier to use the wedding gift services of one of the larger department stores who can co-ordinate it. It is an idea to have budget gifts included for those unable to pay extravagant prices.  It's not generally accepted to ask people to contribute cash towards a larger gift, although that isn't unheard of.

It is vital and considered good etiquette to write a personal thank you letter to each person who took the trouble to send you a gift. Please do not email them! 

There is the tradition that the groom is expected to purchase small gifts as a momento for the bridesmaids and ushers on behalf of the couple. It is one of the best man's duties to ensure the security of the gifts given at the reception.

What is the tradition regarding flowers for the wedding day?

Traditionally Flowers for the church and the wedding party is generally purchased by the Groom

The bride's parents traditionally pay for the flowers at the reception venue. 

Men are to be given buttonholes, bridesmaids a bouquet and the respective mothers a corsage which are similar in idea to buttonholes but much larger and more detailed. 

We advise that you contact your wedding venue and wedding reception venue to discuss flower arrangements as some hold more than one wedding ceremony per day, and there may be the option of sharing the cost of the floral decorations. It would also be prudent to check their policy as they may not agree to flowers. At the reception there is generally a large arrangement on the top table and smaller arrangements on each of the guests' tables. There is usually a large arrangement at the meet and greet point.  The colours and type of flower for the bride's bouquet should be chosen to match her natural colouring and personality. Bridesmaids' bouquets should be smaller than the brides.