FATHER OF THE BRIDE

The Father of the Bride

So your bank account is glowing red and the bank manager has sent you a lovely letter inviting you in for “a little chat”.You’re having to pay for dinner for a ridiculously large amount of people, most of whom you’ve never met and will probably never ever see again. As well as a good number you would knowingly cross the street to avoid. All the women in your life have gone completely crazy and likely to burst into tears at the slightest word from you, no matter how well intentioned. And most things you do say (“Well I’ve had a word and the local scout hut is free for hire on that date and at quite a reasonable price!”) are largely ignored, shouted down or induce threats of being banished to the spare room for all eternity. On top of all that you have to write a speech!

Congratulations! You are the Father of the Bride!

Relax. Everyone there is hoping for a great speech and willing you to do well, they are a friendly audience who are on your side, after all you just bought them all dinner. Mostly they are just hoping you won’t drag it out too long as the father’s speech is usually viewed as the longest and least interesting so if you throw in a few well aimed gags and keep it light then to balance out the important words you want to say to your daughter you’re already on to a winner.

Take a deep breath to steady yourself.

Introduce yourself at the top of your speech. Although as Father of the Bride you are the welcoming host not everyone will have met you or will know your name. It is traditional for the Father of the Bride to welcome everyone to the wedding and thank them for coming, in particular the Groom’s family. There are two important toasts to give, the first of which is to absent friends or relatives. There are two families present and there’s a chance not all the relatives will have been able to attend or there might be some important or well loved family members who might sadly have passed away recently who the Bride or Groom will wish to be remembered. It’s a good idea to check with the happy couple and the Groom’s parents when preparing your speech. The second is to toast the happy couple at the end of your speech.  Don’t Forget The Groom…. Or your wife!

There will be plenty you wish to say about and to your daughter but remember to include your new son-in-law in your speech and don’t be afraid to throw an occasional gag his way. Try to avoid the obvious cliché “I haven’t lost a daughter I’ve gained a son.” its just dull. But most of all don’t forget to mention the bride’s mother (good tip, compliment her on how beautiful she is looking today) and what a great mother she has been. It’s a big day for her too. 

It’s a massive occasion for your daughter but it’s also a wonderful day for you too so most of all take the time to enjoy the day yourself.

For more help and advice head to this article writer on behalf of WithBellsOn www.simplythefatherofthebride.com 

5 Essential Things For The Father of the Bride

There seems to be a general feeling that the Father of the Bride is often the forgotten man of the wedding planning process. The feeling is that you’re probably experienced enough to cope with the nerves and tough enough to cope with the emotions. But that’s why we often end up feeling sorry for the FOTB and decided to round-up some essential advice for all the dads out there prior to the big day.

Deal With The Nerves Before They Ruin It
It’s perfectly natural and acceptable for you to feel nervous. Nerves about the ceremony and speeches are in the top three subjects that fill the inbox of the leading mens wedding website, Staggered.  Fortunately, both can be cured with some simple preparation. Write and practice your speech at least a month in advance of the big day and do everything you can to make it to the church rehearsal as this will give you an idea of where to stand when.

Speeches Are Easy When You Prepare
You can find way more information on Staggered about wedding speeches but this is it in a nutshell. Between 5 and 8 minutes, less is more, stand straight, don’t mumble and speak from the heart. Always write your speech in full (never “wing it”), because even if you don’t use it you’ve always got it in case you need it. Give a copy to your daughter for the wedding memory box. The Father of the Bride welcomes the guests, sets the tempo, welcomes his new family members and talks about his daughter without embarrassing her!

It Will Be Emotional – Get Ready
Blokes and emotions are never a good mix, for the simple reason that we’re often a bit slower at dealing with them and their affects. Take some time before the wedding to talk to your daughter about the wedding and what she means to you. Too many men think they’ll come out with the perfect speech in the car on the way to the church and end up feeling that they never quite explained how they feel – or worse: end up at the church a sobbing mess!

How To Deal With The Money
The good news is that this generation are getting married later, the bad news being that they’re living with their parents longer. As a result more of them are paying for their own wedding. If you’re still footing the bill and you find that the wedding is placing too much of a burden on your finances then make it clear that costs need to be cut. Everyone wants a perfect wedding, but no one wants that to come at the expense of a stressed dad. Also there are thousands of resources out there on how to get a champagne wedding on beer prices, use them!

Plan Your Advice
As with the emotions, this is another topic that should be tackled in advance of the big day. It’s tradition that you pass on some advice – whether that’s in your speech or just in passing. This is a big thing both for the bride and the groom and many people remember for their whole lives what was said to them at this point. So make it wise, make it original and make it something personal. Think about your marriage: what have you learned? What can you say that will improve these young people’s chance of happiness? But remember, no pressure…

With thanks from iamstaggered.com The UK’s leading men’s wedding website.

Let’s Hear It For The Dads

Dads. They mend plugs with butter knives, keep half-empty tins of paint in the shed and always, always know where the batteries are kept. So when it came to advice about weddings, we should go straight to dads and see what pearls of wisdom they’d dispensed before their weddings. Turns out iamstaggered.com readers’ father of the bride or groom dads enjoy quotes and cliches.

• “He seems like a nice lad, he always has done, and I’m glad you’re marrying him. But remember, if needs be, I’ll bash his head in.” (Lucy)
• “Marriage is not always 50/50. Some days you will wake up and may have to give 90% and your spouse will give 10%. Other days you may wake up and give 25% and your husband will have to put in the 75%. I never thought of this before but it is so true.” (Roger)
• “Remember, she does want something for her birthday.” (Al)
• “You know all the times when you’ve imagined scoring an FA Cup winning goal at Wembley or taking 5 wickets at Lords or playing the closing set at Glastonbury, or whatever you imagine when your brain goes in to its screensaver mode… Well for every time you’ve imagined something like that which will never happen, she’s imagined this wedding day and that will – so be patient and cut her some slack – it’ll be worth it in the end”. He’s a genius, my father!” (Jim)
• “Don’t cock it up.” (Alan)
• “The two cornerstones of a wonderful marriage are chocolate and compromise.” (Marie)
• “Live long and prosper.” (Alex)
• “You never suited a bachelor life.” (Andy)