Weddings are supposed to be all about the couple, but so often I speak to nearlyweds who, for one reason or another, are fighting the feeling that they’re just checking boxes on someone else’s to-do list. They could be battling with their parent’s influence, pushing against tradition or just feel restricted in what they feel like they can do. If the thought of wearing white, waltzing to the same slow song everyone else uses, or cutting a five-tier cake makes you yawn (or gag!) then you’re not alone. You can throw the rulebook* out the window and plan a wedding that’s as bold, colourful, and you as possible.

*Guess what?! There IS no rulebook! No one is wagging their finger, shaking their head or taking notes. So middle fingers in the air, let’s gooooooo.

Here’s how to break free from tradition and make your wedding unforgettable:

1. Start with your playlist.

Let’s be real: music sets the mood. If you’re not into mushy ballads or string quartets, don’t feel obligated to include them. Your wedding playlist is the heartbeat of the day. Start with the songs that define you as a couple — whether that’s angsty 90s rock, nostalgic emo anthems, or indie classics.

For the ceremony, imagine walking down the aisle to an acoustic version of your favourite song. Even BETTER would be to book someone awesome like Lily Kerbey, Sam Jayne or Thomas J Wilman, who are all awesome performers who cover alternative music. For the reception, ditch the cheesy DJ and hire a local band that knows how to bring the energy, or book a GREAT DJ who knows their Take Off Your Pants and Jacket from their Morning View, like The Best Men and Rave The Date. Bonus points if you curate a playlist for the after-party — because who doesn’t love shouting along to Mr. Brightside at 1 a.m. whilst clinging to the shirt collars of their bestie?

A white woman with pink hair in a bun turns her head to the left, with her eyes closed. She wears chequered black and white trousers and holds an acoustic guitar. — Lily Kerbey

Two white mean stand behind an array of vinyl records, and each hold two small records in front of their own eyes. — The Best Men DJs

2. Wear what you want.

If you want to wear bridal - whoever you are, whatever your body, and it empowers you and makes you feel as beautiful as we all know you are - I implore you to do this. Don’t let anyone say you can’t, and certainly do NOT change yourself to fit an outdated, unfair and ridiculous narrative that only type of person can wear bridal. On this point, I am steadfast, as I made this mistake myself and it’s a regret I live with 8 years on.

And if bridal is not not your thing, wear something that makes you feel unstoppable. Whether its a dramatic black gown, a glittering metallic jumpsuit, or a colourful ombré suit that pops in every photo, or your fave old t-shirt — If it makes you feel good, it’s so, so right. Don’t be afraid to accessorise AND be comfy. Rock your Crocs, Doc Martens, or a pair of battered chequerboard Vans with your outfit. It sounds ace!

Two women walk hand in hand towards the camera. One of them is white, and has long ginger hair, and wears a white beaded jumpsuit. Her wife is mixed race, and wears a beautiful long flowing white dress. — Ceri and Verity by Rebel Love Club

The image is cropped closely into two pairs of legs walking along a city street. One wears a white suit and the other wears black leather trousers. The person in the white is holding a bunch of bright pink flowers. — by Sidey Clark

A white man in a brown velvet suit and brown roller skates looks at a black woman in a short white lace dress and yellow roller skates. She holds a bouquet or orange, yellow and red dried flowers. — by Zoom Theory

3. Pick a non-traditional venue.

If the thought of a banquet hall or hotel ballroom feels stale, think outside the box. Why not host your wedding at a music venue, an industrial loft, or even your favourite brewery? An outdoor spot like a botanical garden or city rooftop can also set the stage for something unique.

Some of my current favourite venues are:

A wooden building with a long table and black metal chairs. — The Shack Revolution

Hereford, England

A domed building with stone pillars looms against a dramatic sky. — Wylam Brewery

Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, England

A high-ceilinged tin shed, with rustic rugs and bench seating. — The Giraffe Shed

Tregynon, Wales

Squishy velevt sofas in burnt orange sit in front of a glass window, giving us a view of the city of London. — Decimo at The Standard

London, England

Taken from above, we see round tables with white tablecloths in a large bar space, with light streaming through nearby windows. — Bristol Beacon

Bristol, England

Transform your venue with decorations that match your vibe. Add neon signs or velvet banners with cheeky phrases, big boards with your fave lyrics or quotes from books, a funky backdrop for photos, or hang disco balls over the dance floor. Lean away from trends and into what you two love. If you need help finding an aesthetic for your wedding, read this blog post, but my top tip is: Look around your house and see if the things that you choose to surround yourself with to inspire your signature style. Colours, textures and shapes of your fave things in your home can often be the key!

Talk to your venue about ways you can customise the space, and employ a stylist and a stationery that can meet and surpass your vision.

4. Book suppliers who just get it.

You might start with a planner or stylist who can introduce you to all the best people for your vision. If you’re not having one of those, that’s cool. Jump straight to booking a photographer who is going to capture the essence of you two in their house style. Next, book a badass graphic designer (Heyyyy 👋) who can create and develop a visual brand that can roll out across all the key touch points. This can begin with save the dates, and then flow seamlessly through invites, a wedding website, menus, signage - the whole lot. Not only does wedding stationery work to inform and guide your guests, but beyond functionality, your wedding stationery can offer so much richness to the décor. Nailing your vibe through graphic design can bring so much of the two of you into your wedding.

If there are suppliers who will be present on the day - celebrants, photographers, videographers, caterers and entertainers to name a few, then make sure they are people who will add to the fun atmosphere AND who create a safe and welcoming space for you and your guests. See if they are open to meeting before your celebrations, or have a video call to make sure you’re all on the same page.

A beaming man and woman dance and sing holding each other's elbows, an arm punches from the left hand corner and streamers adorn the ceiling in this dancefloor scene. — Image from stylist Abbie Leigh

A woman in a white wedding dress and a man in a pink velvet suit have arms around each other's waists and have their backs to the camera. They are looking at gold, orange and pink streamers on a wooden wall. — Image of couple in front of streamers by Streamadelica

A wavy menu with doodles and handwritten text alongside a lilac heart-shaped name card with an orange tassel. These items lay on a gold-rimmed plate at a wedding table. — Image of stationery by With Bells On! taken by Sophie Traynor Photo

At the end of the day, the most important thing is that your wedding feels like you two. Skip the traditions that don’t fit, lean into the ones you love, and create something so cool, personal and unforgettable that your guests will be talking about how ‘you guys’ it was for years to come.

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