Lez be honest, traditional wedding planning doesn’t always speak to queer couples. From forms with "bride and groom" boxes to suppliers who assume you’re straight, planning a wedding in a predominantly het-normative industry can feel exhausting, overwhelming and unsafe. Your love deserves a celebration which reflects exactly who you are, so here’s your no-bullshit guide to planning a queer, inclusive, joyful wedding, without compromise.

1. Find Queer-Affirming Suppliers

Work with people who actively celebrate LGBTQIA+ love. Look for vendors with visible support for queer couples, like inclusive language on websites and social media, diverse portfolios for of queer representation throughout the year (not just rainbow-washing during Pride month) and who have a reputation for creating safe spaces.

Both the Rebel Love Directory and the Alt Wedding Directory host lists of suppliers who are excited to meet queer couples, creative safe and welcoming spaces, prioritise inclusivity and who actively campaign, march and educate on queer rights.

Other sites, such as Dancing With Her and Equally Wed showcase real queer weddings and they’re an amazing place for inspiration for your plans, along with finding suppliers who you can align with.

Two handsome black men with beards kiss. They're wearing smart suits with dried flower buttonholes. — by Paola de Paola Photography

Two women, one in a long white dress with a bright bouquet, and another in a crisp white suit, kiss in front of a streamer arch. — by Riley Glenn

A black and white photo of two males with their faces close and their eyes closed. They're wearing retro suits and have facial piercings. — by Ruth Elizabeth Photography

2. Scrub the Heteronormativity

Be gone "Mr. & Mrs." wording, gendered expectations, and outdated traditions that fall within the binary.

Wording in your invitations, signage, and speeches should reflect your reality, be it two brides, two grooms, two people - whatever fits your love. There is no expectation here of your pronouns, and I’ll always ask and respect them. Choose suppliers who do the same, and look out for LGBTQIA+ suppliers and small businesses who make it clear that they will too.

Two women wear matching dungarees in a botanical glasshouse. One is in a wheelchair, and the other sits on her lap, and they are rubbing noses — by Rebel Love Club

A white man and a mixed race man go in for a kiss in front of a black wooden wall, with banners reading 'Wild boys' and 'Love wins' pinned to the wall. They're both smiling.

A couple, both wearing wedding wear and glasses, grin widely as their friends and family throw confetti over them. — by Claire Mclean

3. Celebrate Chosen Family

Blood relatives aren't the only important people in your life, and in some cases they’re not present or are unsupportive. If that’s the case, I’m sorry and you don’t deserve that. Your wedding is the perfect opportunity to honour your chosen family - friends, community members, mentors - and make them part of your big day. Navigate family dynamics and protect your joy: set boundaries, lean on your community, and focus on the people who uplift you.

Your pre-wedding celebrations can ditch the old ‘hen and stag’ nonsense and can include you two and whomever you please. Come up with a cute name for your wedding party, like ‘wedding squad’, ‘big day gang’ or a play on ‘Swifties’ for whatever your surnames are.

Cull that guest list to only those who will make you feel safe, joyful and beautiful. It’s your day, play by no one else’s rules or expectations. If you find it difficult to explain this to folk who are unsupportive, try writing to them rather than having to have a confrontation or awkward face-to-face. This will give you the space to explain how you feel and review it without interruption.

Two newlyweds raise their arms up in the air, surrounded by loved ones. — by Rebel Love Club

4. Inclusive Outfits for Every Body

Wear what makes you feel powerful and seen. Suits, dresses, jumpsuits, mix it up however you like. Celebrate gender expression, body diversity, and individual style.

It can feel overwhelming and scary for some. There are some amazing small business out there who design wedding wear for all people, who understand you and your body and can follow your vision and guide you too. Try Viktoria Zuziak, Queer Suits You and Beyond The Veil Boutique.

Two people in stunning wedding wear sit on a bench. They're both wearing flower crowns and both have beards. — Peopleswear design by Viktoria Zuziak

Two women in silk white gowns stand in a neutral room. One faces the camera, the other the opposite direction, and the one facing the camera leans her head on the other's shoulder. — Wedding wear by Beyond The Veil

Two people in wedding suits stand in front of a bandstand. One wears black, and the other, who wears orange, is jumping and grinning with their legs in the air and their arm around the other. — Suits by Queer Suits You

5. Your Ceremony, Your Way

Choose a celebrant who respects your identities and builds a ceremony that reflects your love story. Any good celebrant will spend a great deal of time learning about you, understanding your relationship and will create a ceremony where you and your guests cry, laugh, cheer and sing with joy.

Both Lovestruck Celebrant and Chloe Green are queer-owned, and create safe spaces to navigate through the ceremony of your dreams. Check out the directories above for more and make sure you talk to a few to make sure they’re the right one for you.

Write vows or promises to one another that align with who you both are and the life you’re creating together. These can be a mix of serious and funny, and they’ll be totally unique to you two.

A black female celebrant in a lilac dress stands between two marriers, one in a pink sequin dress, the other in a pink velvet suit. They're all holding vow booklets and grinning. — Lovestruck Celebrant, photo by Carmel McCabe

Two marriers wearing pink and cream laugh whilst holding hands. In the background, a celebrant stands between them. — Chloe Green, photo by Mike Plunkett

Two marriers face each other. One reads from a book and the other stares lovingly at them. They're in front of a tree growing down a white wall. — by Lucie B Photography

6. LGBTQIA+ Visibility Loud and Proud

Pride flags, queer artists, rainbow details and big ol’ celebrations of your identities. Make your wedding a space where everyone knows love in all forms is celebrated.

This can be through decor, the ceremony, speeches and entertainment. You stationery can be a massive part of this, with colour and wording playing a huge role. I would be honoured to design some BIG GAY INVITES for those who want it!

Two femme brides walk hand in hand down a procession of their loved ones, who all wave rainbow pride flags. — by Ashley Rae Photography

A large heart-shaped signs reads 'Nice day for a gay wedding'. It stands in front of an interior brick wall. — by Amy Katherine

7. Make Joy Your Priority

Planning a wedding as a queer couple can be daunting, but your day should be filled with love, pride and radical joy. Throw the rulebook out the window, your love deserves nothing less. Intertwine your interests, hobbies and passions to make the day so obviously yours, and if you’re having fun, your guests will too.

When looking for a venue, use the directories to know you’re entering safe spaces and ask questions about inclusivity and accessibility. Go with your gut, and if something feels like a red flag, move on and find other places and suppliers who get you.

I can recommend Giraffe Shed in Wales and The Shack Revolution in Hereford as venues who embrace and celebrate queer love.

Two grooms walk back up the aisle between guests who have stood up from their ceremony seats. They're looking at each other and smiling. — by Simon Dewey at The Shack Revolution

A huge window is surrounded by colourful streamers, plinths and florals. The venue is industrial, with bare brick walls and light streaming in. — The Giraffe Shed

I hope you’ve found this somewhat helpful, and please get in touch if you have questions, suggestions or ideas you’d like me to know about. I’d love to know more about you and help with your wedding stationery, so if that’s something you need, get in touch.

Send me a message

Top title image by Rebel Love Club